Have you ever waited for something for so long that you begin to doubt that it’s in the cards for you? And if you’re lucky, when finally happens your heart just bursts and all that waiting was totally worth it because you couldn’t possibly imagine another outcome?
For years, my husband and I were determined to grow our family. We began planning in 2018 when our son, Benji, turned one. I finally got pregnant at the end of 2019. Only to experience a loss on Christmas Day.
We shared the pregnancy news with Raul’s family on Christmas Eve and then with my family on Christmas morning, which I soon began to regret when I found out I was having a miscarriage.
We were sooooo ready to will our experience as parents of two into existence, but we had no idea the years of heartache and longing we would endure before I would carry a healthy, happy, and beautiful baby.
So many of you have been on this journey with us and I can’t even begin to describe how your constant encouragement, prayers and presence impacted us during this season.
But now we cannot WAIT to share with you the process we went through, the mindset that got us through it and the incredible story of the week that changed our lives forever.
As I mentioned earlier, I was able to get pregnant in 2019. Then, again in 2021.
It was in February 2021, after my second miscarriage, that we were introduced to Dr. Hilgers by my midwife.
I went through months of charting, blood work, surgeries, biopsies, taking supplements and progesterone.
What I discovered is that there aren’t enough professionals like Dr. Hilgers that really understand infertility.
Statistically speaking my chances of having a pregnancy that would go full term were 6%. That went up to 70% when I started the process with Dr. Hilgers.
In my heart, I knew this was the next step for us. Although Raul and I did consider adoption, I NEEDED to know what was happening with my body, so I made a pact with myself that I was manifesting for months! “I’m getting a baby by Christmas!”
I waited for two months for my appointment with Dr. Hilgers. The process with Dr. Hilgers began April 2021 with bloodwork along with six weeks of charting my cycles using the Creighton Model. Using this charting system, allowed my future procedure to be performed more effectively. It allowed myself and Dr. Hilgers to work in cooperation with my natural cycle. This is when my cycle abnormalities became evident.
We went months and months waiting in silence. These days were painful. I remember my first surgery thinking “worst case scenario I’ll have to have another surgery. Best case, Dr. Hilgers can “fix” whatever is going on inside of me.” With all my heart, I wanted to believe it was going to be that easy.
In July, I had my first diagnostic procedures- laparoscopy, hysteroscopy, reopening of the fallopian tubes, and a hysterosalpingography. After the procedure, I felt hopeful. I finally felt relief that I knew what was wrong.
My case of endometriosis was severe, so I had to have a second major abdominal procedure to remove the endometriosis that was taking over my uterus, my ovaries, my fallopian tubes, my appendix, and parts of my bladder.
September morning, (after my second procedure), in the recovery room, I recall telling my nurse, “I feel great. I think I should be able to go home.” I knew there was a probability I had to stay in the hospital, which I dreaded. I stayed a night in the hospital with Raul at my side with my mother watching our sweet boy, Benji.
Two weeks later, in October, I was back in Dr. Hilgers office to treat some bacteria he found during surgery.
That process went on two more times with biopsies involved this time.
Finally, in November, I was cleared of the bacteria and I was nearing my manifested due date- December.
I was hoping for a miracle. The rollercoaster of emotions, the twist and turns, the surprises, and the things I have learned helped me discover what I am really made of, what I am capable of and how far I can take myself. No matter the outcome, my goal was to continue to move, grow and be thrilled.
Who could possibly be thrilled about waking up at 2 am with excruciating rib cage pains? It’ll pass I thought. It could be gas. The pain persisted. At 3 am, Raul’s mom rushes to our house to stay with Benji, while we take a ride to the emergency room.
November 29th, I was ready to throw in the towel. I cried. I was tired of being poked, I was annoyed of the iv, I was tired of monitors on my body, I was tired of test, ultrasounds and x-rays. I was so fed up, I almost refused any pain medicine.
That day my diagnosis was pneumonia.
Life went on with another treatment of antibiotics. At this point, I am still charting my cycles, and I’m more certain than ever, that the baby I’ve been praying for is on it’s way for Christmas!
Using Creighton charting system, my cycles were now predictable after my surgery and removal of endometriosis. Long gone were the days of guessing when my next period would arrive.
On December 7, 2021 no sign of aunt flow, so I took an at home pregnancy test. Our journey of longing for a bigger family began.
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